Updated: Nov 19, 2018
I want you to take a moment to picture your dream life.
What environment will you be in ? Who will be surrounding you? What job will you be doing? Where will you live? How would you feel? Would you love yourself more?
You can physically write these answers out on paper or draw your dream or just visualize it in your mind. Notice how you feel as you're creating this euphoric dream life.
So what's holding you back?
Those thoughts in our mind, the limiting beliefs, the stories others have told us, a traumatic experience, the anxious feelings, the unknown -- all in all it comes down to yourself. YOU are holding yourself back.
We have these lovely (rolling my eyes) thoughts that run around our mind saying I'm not ____ (you can fill in the blank, I'm sure you have many answers - I sure did) or even I'm too ____
If you're stuck here are some examples:
I'm not: skinny, pretty, tall, smart, cool, interesting, wise, worthy, rich, loved
I'm too: busy, poor, lazy, short, young, boring, ugly, stupid, unfixable, annoying
What do all these really mean? I am NOT enough. HOLD UP (in a Dr Dre voice)!! I am here to tell you that is false. Throw that shit in the bin. If you know me, then you know how upfront and honest I am, but that stems from me wanting the best in everyone. If you can change your core belief to "I am enough" because you absolutely are, then you can transform your life.
Trust me when I say I have experienced every side of fear. From bungee jumping, to moving across the world, to saying no whilst everyone pressures me to say yes, to taking risks like quitting my job when I only had $20 in my name, to attending a salsa social with people who've been dancing for years and I had never done it before, to driving again after being in a fatal car accident, and plenty more. Of course fear is essential and helps keep us out of danger, but we must not let it overbear us and stop us from living our best lives.
When you really want something, nothing will hold you back. When you start to believe in yourself and build that self-worth, you become invincible. The secret is love, which is the opposite of fear.
Life is all about yin and yang, balance or whatever you would like to call it. Love is the femininity which softens us and fear is the masculinity that hardens us. So when we are afraid of love, we run and find comfort in fear. Staying in those confined walls (which we build and make up ourselves) to protect us and close us off from the world, so we can't get hurt. In other words this is showing how we don't love ourselves and have low self worth.
Uhm so now what do I do since I realize that I've been holding myself back from living my dream life?
Here are some helpful tools to keep in your kit:
‣ 15 minutes of self care a day (because not being selfish is selfish - you will never be the best you can be without some self love)
‣ Saying no to people or experiences that don't make you happy or you don't have time for
‣ Start doing activities with your other hand (ex. brushing your teeth, drinking your tea, talking on the phone, carrying your purse, etc) -- this helps change our perspective
‣ Noticing what foods you are putting in your body that don't make you feel good (physically and mentally)
‣ Try something new - on a menu, an activity you've been wanting to do, a new route to drive to work -- this builds our courage and confidence
‣ Schedule your priorities (not the other way around) -- start being clear on what your values are
These may not seem like massive changes, but that's the point. We must start small before we conquer the large mountains (aka traumas/ limiting beliefs).
I know it can be scary to make changes on your own and begin facing your fears, so it would be my absolute pleasure to guide you along the way. Plus having someone to keep you accountable and hold you up when you want to fall down is the most comforting feeling.
Are you ready? Oh hell yeah!! or if you're not, no pressure. Take your time and come back when it feels right for you!